This past year has been an especially tough one, probably the toughest I’ve experienced since I overdosed. I’ve definitely taken big leaps and hurdles in regards to trying to take risks. But it’s been daunting to say the least. This past week was probably filled with the largest hurdle of them all. On Thursday evening I was in my room laying in bed when I felt a pain radiating through my breast. Over the past few months I felt slight pain, some tingling, but not much to worry me. But this time I was worried. In a matter of 24 hours. O went from feeling some pain, to feeling excruciating pain.
That night I couldn’t sleep, and was up trying to figure out what was going on as I felt a lump in my chest. The next morning I went to the Doctors and he saw it as well, and sent me to the radiologist. After taking a look, the Radiologist found several lumps in my chest, which would explain the radiating pain that I had been feeling.
Since that discovery I have been overwhelmed, eager to know my results so they could tell me what’s going on. In the past month and a half I’ve been sick three times, this time is strep throat covered in white spots that make me want to claw them out. I’ve been emotionally tired this year and it feels like my body is doing what my emotions have been feeling for a while. I know it won’t be all bad for long, but that’s where I am at right now. I’ve placed my feet firmly on the ground. Not to pretend that everything is ok right now, but to get a baseline. Because now the only way to go is up.